


Winter Flower

by IAmTheWinterAssassin



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: ....I hope, Action, Angst, Bi Original Character, Blood, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Filler, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Mutants, Native American OC, Original Character AU, POV Original Character, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-TWS, Slow Build, Violence, attempted suicide, but it will be worth it, cursing, like super slow build, some gore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-04-09 11:23:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4346723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmTheWinterAssassin/pseuds/IAmTheWinterAssassin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iris Hunt stumbles upon a certain homeless super soldier on her front steps. Slowly but surely she gains his trust and tries to help him heal only to get tangled up with the Avengers and an ever evolving Hydra.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stoop

The rain had been incessant for the last two days. Iris's socks were soaked beneath the thin canvas of her chucks making them almost useless. She stood in the grey puddle with her clear umbrella keeping the water that wasn't pooled around her feet off of her. She could just go inside and ignore the man sitting curled in a wet ball on the stoop of the apartment building. She could carry on like he was invisible. But how many times had someone done that today alone. Every time she willed her feet forward and tried to open the door her body would refuse to budge.   
"Hey." Iris finally spoke up.  
The man's eyes flicked open and looked up at her through stringy hair.   
"Have you eaten anything today?" Iris asked.   
The man had his right arm in a sling, and the other was resting in his lap behind his legs which were pulled back towards his chest. His head was leaning on a rolled up piece of cloth as a pillow which fell as he straightened to get a better look at Iris.   
"Do you know me?" He asked squinting at her, wondering if he actually knew who she was. Or rather, if she knew who he was. People knew him, but he didn't know them back, he couldn't remember faces from his life. They were all too blurred, too static, like a bad radio reception. If you weren't a target then you didn't need to be known.  
"No. But I could. And you could know me." She said.  
Iris had volunteered in shelters throughout the city but there was something different about this man. He wasn't like the other strung out drug addicts or unfortunate homeless. He looked confused, but most of all he looked sad.   
"What's your name?" Iris sat down on the stoop, the water soaking into her jeans.   
She wrapped her arms around her bag and leaned forward trying to catch his eye. He had to think about it for a second before he looked at her, still searching.  
"It's... It's James," he said yet he still sounded unsure.  
"Do you have a last name?"  
"No."  
"Sometimes I wish I didn't have a last name. Last names mean obligations. Rental agreements, taxes, electricity bills. Too much noise." She said, oddly relaxed while talking to him.   
"So, James, have you eaten today?"   
He only stared at her with utter incomprehension. Why was she talking to him? She should be afraid of him. Everyone seemed afraid of him, even if they didn't know the evils of his past. No one talked to any strange man with too much facial hair and a stolen sweatshirt. He felt like a monster, lost in a maze of unknown faces.  
"You look like you've been through some fights. Are you a vet?"   
He shifted uncomfortably breaking eye contact with her.   
"My dad was a combat medic," she offered.   
"How about this. Are you hungry?"   
"Do I know you?" He asked again.  
"My names Iris Hunt. Now you know me."   
He was at ease with her. Something was calming about her voice and the way she moved. Everyone else he had encountered made him feel like he was filled with lightning, making him on edge. But she was like a steady heartbeat in the darkness that kept you from losing your shit. There was something familiar about that feeling, like he had known someone like that a long time ago.   
"I have pizza in my apartment. Or there's a coffee shop down there," she pointed down the street to their left.  
"I can't go with you," he stood slowly, like he was trying not to startle her.   
"Why not?" She asked standing with him.  
"Because. I don't trust you," he took a step out into the rain and headed in the opposite direction of the coffee shop.  
"H-Hey wait!" Iris stepped out into the rain, she reached out to grab his shirt but stopped herself.  
"Here," she said as he turned to look at her. She held out her umbrella to him and when she didn't back down he reached out and took it. She could see his knuckles through the worn out gloves, they weren't flesh like she had expected, they were tarnished metal, scratches carved into them like he had been punching a wall. She had never seen such an advanced prosthetic before. She tore her eyes away as she turned to the door of the complex, when she looked back he was gone.  
***  
The sky had cleared but the streets were still damp and the air still smelt sweet with rainwater. Iris was running to the corner store for some late night Hohos when she saw the familiar blue cap and grey sweatshirt. She stopped and squinted across the street at the green bench, her clear umbrella laying on his chest. She checked the street before jogging across.  
"Hey." She called stopping a few feet from him.  
"Hey, James." She said quietly.  
His eyes blinked open and he sat up quickly, looking around frantically, his hand clutching the umbrella like it was a weapon.  
"Hey, hey it's just me. Iris?" She said.  
"Oh..." he said shifting so that he was sitting with his feet on the ground. He rubbed his eyes before squinting at her through the street lamp light.   
"You know there's a shelter two blocks west of here. Or a church a little past the park... or I have a couch."   
"Do you offer every homeless man a place on your couch?" He asked almost annoyed.  
"Usually don't have to."  
"What do you mean?" He asked.  
"Come on. Let's go to the diner at least. Get some food and talk."   
"You're persistent."  
Iris didn't reply she just began walking towards the neon lights in the distance. Before long she could hear the footsteps behind her. The diner was virtually empty, a couple of college students sat in a corner booth and the waitress leaned on the linoleum counter flicking through things on her phone. When Iris opened the door a bell rang, the waitress straightened and made one last glance at her phone before pocketing it.   
"Hey, sit wherever," she said going to grab some menus.  
Iris sat down and watched as James cautiously sat across from her. There was music playing quietly, the college students conversation dominated the airways however. He sat with his back to the wall, glancing around nervously and she could see that he hadn't relaxed his grip on the umbrella.  
"What can I get started for you?" The waitress asked glancing sideways at James who stared at the menu like it was foreign to him.   
"I'll have a Coke. James, you good with coffee?" She asked.  
He looked up as she said his name and nodded.   
"And a coffee." Iris said, the waitress gave an almost pained smile and went back behind the counters.  
"See anything you like?"  
"Why are you doing this?" He asked.  
"Because you are stubbornly rejecting me and I don't like it," Iris scanned the menu.  
"You are doing this because I don't want you to?" she was confusing to him, this didn't add up, no one did anything nice for him unless they wanted something in return.  
"I guess. But do you really not want me to? Because if you don't I'll stop," she set the menu down.  
He didn't say anything but sighed and looked out the window, his knee bouncing rapidly under the table.  
"Exactly," Iris said as the waitress set their drinks on the table.  
"Decide on what you would like?" She asked pulling out her notepad.  
"I'll have the California omlette. James?"   
"I'm okay," he said not making eye contact with the waitress.  
"He'll have toast and a side of bacon," Iris smiled at the waitress who nodded and took their menus.  
"You're really bad at this," she said taking a sip from her drink.  
"What do you want," James said.  
"What?"  
"What do you want, why are you helping me?"  
"I help people like you all the time. I volunteer at shelters all the time." She said.  
"Bullshit. That's not right, you're treating me different."   
"Because you're not homeless, not in their sense, are you?" She said.  
Silence fell between them, the college students said goodbye to the waitress and the bell chimed at the door as they left.   
"I knew it," Iris finally broke the tension.  
"Knew what?"  
"You're running from something. Didn't plan ahead or whatever and you can't go back so now you're stuck. Lost in limbo."   
James looked back out the window. He had this overwhelming urge to run, escape. There were two exit points, front door and back through the kitchen and out into the back alley. He so wanted to move, to get up and leave but something held him to that spot.   
"Why can't you go back?"  
"I hurt too many people for someone else. At least out here I have control," he said quietly, he had traded the umbrella for a napkin which he slowly ripped into strips.  
The waitress brought out the toast and Iris' omlette "Bacon will be a few more minutes." She said.   
"Thanks." Iris smiled at her again before cutting into her omlette.  
"So why can't you go to a shelter?" Iris asked.  
"They'll find me."   
"Did you... run from the military?"   
"No," he replied looking down at his toast.  
"You said you didn't trust me. Why?" She asked.  
"Because I don't. This... this is okay. But I can't... I don't...." He was licking his lips, glancing around, he was ratcheting up and Iris had to stop it.  
"It's fine. I won't drag you home, I'm not that crazy," She said taking a few bites of her omlette, the waitress set the plate of bacon in front of James and asked if they needed anything else. A few minutes passed before James started to eat. He hadn't had anything this good in... in how long? Had it been years? Decades? He slathered the toast with jam and all but swallowed the bacon hole.   
"I'll be here tomorrow afternoon around five. If you want to talk, come and meet me." Iris said as she paid the bill.  
"You think I'll show up?" He asked, not sure what the answer was himself.  
"You're your own person now. Whatever it was that happened to you, it's over now. You have control, remember?" Iris said standing and heading for the door.  
"Thank you." Iris paused at the door and looked back.  
"Thank you." He said again like he was getting used to the words.  
"You're welcome." She said turning and heading outside. It was raining again.


	2. Habit

"The usual?" The waitress asked as Iris sat down at her and James's table.  
"Yeah. James'll be here soon," Iris said, the waitress nodding as she went to go get the Coke and coffee.  
The bell rang and Iris turned expecting James but instead a family came in and sat down at a booth by the door. Iris waited for an hour before she paid for the Coke and cold coffee and left. She and James had met at the diner every Tuesday and Friday at five and James was never late. She knew he could have just skipped out, left. Maybe he finally went to a shelter. Or maybe he got fed up with her and just decided not to show up. But a part of her knew that wasn't true and that scared her, it was dangerous for the homeless, reports of gangs of people beating them half to death were always a side column in the paper. She went to the bench he had been sleeping on the first night they got food, she checked the park, the church and the shelter nearby but he wasn't there. Finally she went to her apartment hoping he'd be sitting on the stoop waiting for her because he didn't find her at the diner, but the green painted steps were vacant.   
Iris sighed heavily before heading up to the front door of the complex, dragging her feet. The sound of a trashcan scratching against the pavement and footsteps alerted her to someone below the stairs.  
"James?" Iris asked as he shuffled out of the shadows.  
"I know I said I didn't trust you enough to go home with you but I can't go to a hospital," he said limping out into the street light, he was clutching his side, a piece of fabric pressed to it.  
Iris squinted at him as he removed it showing the blood that had soaked his shirt.  
"Oh my God. You need to go to a hospital James, that doesn't look like a scratch," she said running down to him, he had another hole in his thigh.  
"I can't go there. You know why," he said leaning on her as she put her arm around him. When she was closer she could see the bruises under his eye.  
"What the hell happened to you? I don't know how to sew people up," Iris said, but James pushed forward, insisting on going up to the front door.  
"I was mugged, or attacked. Some kids in the park. Or adults I couldn't see them very well, they caught me off guard and I... I just need help," he finished his sentence quietly.  
"I thought you said you were in the army or whatever I think you can take a few kids," Iris said as they shuffled inside.   
"I got a few good hits in but I didn't want to hurt anyone, not anymore. My arm isn't what it used to be either and after my shoulder..."  
"Okay okay I get it but why not go to the hospital? Or a clinic? Give a false name," Iris pressed the elevator button with her foot as she balanced James.  
"Because the people who are after me don't need names. I just can't."  
"So you'd rather bleed out at my place?"   
"I'll be fine. You have a sewing kit right?" He asked as the elevator rumbled to a stop.  
"You're going to sew yourself up?"   
"I don't have much of a choice do I."  
Iris sighed and pressed the up button. The elevator was slow and not well maintained, her building was old, the last time anything had been updated was in the 90s. Finally the doors opened to her floor and they stepped out. Iris let James lean on the doorjamb as she fished her keys from her pocket.   
"Sorry for the mess I wasn't expecting to do minor surgery for another week," Iris jested, opening the creaking door.   
Her studio apartment was made up of a single room, a studio. To the left was a wall that separated the kitchen from the living room and her bed room. To the right was a small door which lead to the even smaller bathroom. The slanted ceiling only provided room for a bathtub meaning no shower. The two of them shuffled into the room before James collapsed onto one of the dining room chairs. He stretched his leg out in front of him and peeled back the his shirt from the wound.  
"Oh my god. Oh no no you need a doctor," Iris said shifting uncomfortably.   
"I'll be fine. Do you have a first aid kit and a sewing kit?" He was oddly calm about all of it to Iris. He had done this before in the middle of a war zone.  
"F-first aid and sewing got it." Iris said choking on her words before going to her bed which was shoved in the front right corner. She pulled some totes from under the bed before opening one of them.  
"I've got this and... and..." Iris dumped the tote onto the floor before grabbing up the box marked 'first aid'.   
"You're lucky I was a girl scout I still have this stuff," she said gathering everything from the totes and turning back to the table but James wasn't there. Iris stood and went to the table and looked into the kitchen. He was standing at the stove, a butter knife over the flames on one of the burners.  
"What are you doing?" Iris asked, before he said anything he pressed hot metal to the wound on his leg.  
"What the fuck are you doing?" Iris yelled dropping everything on the table and rushing to him but he shrugged her off.  
"Cauterizing the wound," James said through a clenched jaw.  
"You're so fucking crazy. I'm fucking crazy," Iris breathed getting the disinfectant, needle and thread from the pile she had amassed on the table.   
"Second guessing befriending me?" He asked, was that humor in his voice?  
Iris huffed.  
"Here let me just... uh just wait here." Iris went to the bathroom and pulled the cardboard box where she kept her towels in out from under the sink. She grabbed a few and brought them back to the kitchen.  
"You're going to need to get undressed so here," she set them on the table as he began to stitch his side. A shiver ran through Iris's body as she turned away from him. He quietly endured the pain with each stitch, it stung much more than he remembered, probably because he was fully aware this time and not walking through a haze of orders and procedures.   
"Do you... need anything else?" Iris asked, he glanced over at the table and shook his head.  
"I'll be fine now."   
"Okay well... okay. I'm going to go change. You just... do whatever." She said going to the bathroom.   
Iris ran a comb through her hair, it was thick and dark like her mothers, her face looked flushed from the adrenaline. She pulled her hair back and tied it up before pulling on a clean tank top and PJ bottoms. Finally she washed her face and went back out. James was finished, he was washing his hands in the kitchen sink.  
"If you want you can take a shower, er, tub. Whatever. I can run your clothing down to the washer and dryer," James looked between the sink and her like he was contemplating the two options.  
"Just do it okay. I'd feel a lot better if you weren't covered in your own dried blood," Iris said.  
James dried his hands and nodded, Iris waited from him to put his clothing in the basket before she took it downstairs. When she returned she could hear the sound of water running and went to her bed again. She cleaned up the mess she had made and pulled out a different tote. This one had clothing in it. She opened the top and the familiar smell of spearmint plumed into the air. She pulled the flannel shirt that sat on top and shook it out.   
"Finally have a use for you." She said taking out a pair of sweatpants. U.S. Army was printed on the hip and Darian Hunt was written in permanent marker on the tag.   
Iris knocked twice on the door "I'm going to leave some pants and a shirt here. Your clothing should be done within an hour."  
A moment passed before he replied "Thank you."   
Iris nodded to herself and went to her bed. She set an alarm on her phone and laid down, her eyes sliding closed.  
***  
Iris woke up to a dark apartment, the door to the bathroom was ajar, and there was a form on the couch wrapped in a blanket. Iris stretched and grabbed her robe before heading to the door and down stairs. The basement had been converted into a large laundry room, lines of washers sat back to back down the middle of the room and dryers lining the walls. Iris pulled James jacket, pants and shirt from the washer and headed for one of the dryers. She could feel something in one of the pockets in the cargo pants and pulled it out before throwing the damp clothing into the dryer. She cursed herself, she should have checked the pockets before washing the clothing. After starting the cycle she looked down at the folded brochure. The front had an artfully designed logo for a Smithsonian's Captain America exhibit. She hadn't expected that, maybe church pamphlet's or an advertisement for half off eggs and steak after noon but not a Smithsonian exhibit. It was soggy from the wash, a wad of paper stained with blue running ink was stuffed inside.   
She could make out the last few paragraphs which were written in sloppy cursive. She knew she shouldn't be snooping but the curiosity was overwhelming. She leaned onto the washing machine and flattened out the folded notebook paper. Most of the writing was running off the page from being soaked in the washer. They looked like they read like a display plaque, most of them on Captain America himself. But there were a few paragraphs dedicated to his second in command, Bucky Barnes. As the notes got more in depth annotations started to appear in the margins. Mostly question marks as well as stars near things like birthdates and locations. Finally it looked like something in James own words.  
Bucky. James Buchanan 'Bucky' Barnes. That name is so heavy. I see someone else's face, not my own. I want it to be me. I want to believe I did good. But why won't I remember. James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky Barnes. Bucky. that's me. I am him. He looks so good. So full of goodness. I'm not that. I'm not good. I look in a mirror and I can't figure out who is staring back, me or him.   
Iris' eyes darted down the page as she read but the information just bounced off of her as she struggled to comprehend what it meant. Finally she pulled the now open brochure out from under the notes. She gasped hard and took a few steps back like it had bit her, leaving it open on the washing machine top.  
"No way. No fucking way," she breathed running her hands through her hair.  
"That's impossible." She mumbled before stepping back to the papers.   
But was it really impossible? Steve Rogers was frozen in ice for around 75 years, could he have survived too? The picture in the brochure looked exactly like James, minus the long hair and scruff. It just seemed too close of a match to be a family relative. She had to ask him about it now, she couldn't just leave it alone and act like she had never seen it.   
Iris folded everything and put it all back where it was, bringing it up stairs with her. When she got back into her apartment she noticed the couch was empty, and she could hear the sound of a whistling kettle coming from the kitchen. Iris gently closed the door and took off her slippers before going to the table. James was at the stove with a mug and the kettle.  
"I woke up and you were gone so I thought I'd just... do this?" He said pouring the water over a teabag.   
"Is there enough water for me?" She asked quietly, setting the thick packet on the table.  
"Yeah, there should be," he pulled another mug down from the cupboard. She couldn't help but smile, he hadn't been there long but he had seemed to relax a little bit.  
"Thank you." She said sitting, watching him intently.  
She was still trying to convince herself that he just looked a lot like his grandfather. You see it all the time on the internet right? Ridiculously similar looking relatives you'll have to see to believe. Yeah, right. She still had to ask.  
"I take it you went to do the laundry?" He asked, carefully setting the mugs on the table, his metal arm clicked as he willed the fingers to release the handle. it had gotten harder to move since being exposed to the elements without proper maintenance. His other arm was still healing from being dislocated, the muscles were sore but he could lift light objects and move in a limited range.   
"Yeah. How's your side? You need pain meds?" She asked as he sat down across from her.  
"No, it's fine. I'll get over it."  
Iris nodded and the conversation fell flat. Finally she pushed the small booklet out into the middle of the table and looked up at him. He glanced down at it, but it didn't seem to register for a moment. He looked up at her when he realized what it was, slight panic flashing across his face.  
"It was in your pants. Sorry, it kind of went through the wash." He pulled it towards him with a finger, flipping it open.  
"So... please tell me you have a really close resemblance to your grandfather," she said trying to lighten the tension she felt in her own shoulders.  
There was an awkward silence followed by Iris clearing her throat.  
"The people you're running from... they wouldn't happen to be affiliated with Captain America or the Avengers would they? Or, I don't know, the government?" She asked.  
"It's complicated."  
"I didn't ask you for your relationship status I asked you if you're a 90 year old man who is running from the most famous heroes in the US." Iris said.   
"You read it, does it look like I know?" He snapped.  
Iris sighed and sat back in her seat.  
"It'd explain the arm."   
"My name... is James Buchanan Barnes," Iris looked up from the spot she was staring at on the ground.  
"I was born... in Brooklyn, New York in... 1916," Iris hadn't noticed but his hand was shaking as he tried to unfold the notes.  
"I... I can't remember anything before waking up with this arm and orders to carry out," he wouldn't make eye contact with her.  
"I'm sorry." Iris finally said.  
"I shouldn't have snooped. I should have just left it alone."   
"You should know who you were sharing a room with." He said standing up.  
"Were? This doesn't change anything. In fact it actually kind of makes this a little bit easier." Iris said.  
"What do you mean? How could this possibly make anything easier?" He seemed agitated at her acceptance.  
"Just watch."   
Iris stood and went to the lamp that stood next to the end of her couch. She reached into the shade and unscrewed one of the light bulbs. She went back to the table and sat down holding the light bulb by its base.  
"Don't look right at it." She said pushing her sleeves back.  
Suddenly the bulb lit up in her fingers, her fingertips shimmered a bright blue as well as the veins in her wrists, making the matching eye tattoos on each wrist look like they were glowing as well.   
"How...?" James stood, trying to get a closer look at her hands and arms.  
"I think the news likes to call us mutants. That's such an ugly name." She said twisting the light bulb between her fingers.   
"How long could you do that?" He asked obviously fascinated, as he examined the glow beneath her skin, tracing her veins with his flesh hand.  
"This specifically? About five years now. First time though I blew out a few light bulbs. Had to get stitches. But I learned obviously," Iris let the bulb dim out until it was fully dark and set it on the table.  
"You are the only other person than Desiree who knows I can do that. See, now we're even." She said smiling at him, and for the first time he actually smiled back. It was more relieved than happy but that was all Iris cared about, making him comfortable. She had become increasingly invested in him since they had started having dinner together. Most of the times she would just talk to him, he would sometimes close his eyes and listen, nodding every now and then. Whatever she did put him at ease.   
"I don't want to push it or anything but, how much did you find out about yourself?" Iris asked.   
"Only what they had at the museum. I didn't have much of an access to a computer. They liked to kick me out of the library. Probably because of this," he scratched at the short beard that was forming.  
"Lucky for you I'm proficient in information gathering." Iris said going to her computer which sat in what looked like an old laundry closet on the other end of the kitchen.   
"James Buchanan... oh here." Iris clicked on the first search that came up.  
"You've got a lot of fans." Iris said scrolling through the various links.  
James leaned on the back of her chair and watched intently.  
"Do you want to read it?" Iris asked clicking on the wiki page.  
"Yes."   
Iris smiled and stood up from her chair, motioning for him to sit.  
"Take as long as you want." She said going back to her tea.   
She sat and watched him as he settled into reading the various sites. Some were not very high-quality sources but she didn't worry too much, he'd be able to figure out what he wanted to be true. She could feel the weight of her eyelids as she began to nod off, she shuffled to the bed flopping onto the blankets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two! Sorry if this moves a bit fast, I'm trying to learn how to draw things out so it flows better. I've gone over this a few times so if there are any errors I apologize. Hopefully Bucky isn't out of character too too much. I don't really have an update schedule yet for this either so I'll just post 'em when I post 'em.  
> Thank you for reading!


	3. Tension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filler and trust gaining ahead! I had these split up into multiple chapters but I thought since most of it is just Iris and James getting along and getting to know each other I'd just put them all in one chapter. That way we can get to the action a little bit quicker without skipping... character development? Or whatever this chapter is. Enjoy!

"Want some milk?" Iris said sitting down at the table across from James.   
It took her a second before she realized he had frozen, his muscles tensed, jaw clenched. Iris slowly put down her glass, watching him cautiously. After a second of silence James stood, his chair tipping over and crashing to the floor, he flinched before heading to the window and throwing it open and climbing out onto the fire escape.

"James!" Iris called wrapping her robe around her and following him.   
He leaned on the railing, rocking back and forth onto his palms, his hand shaking.  
"James." Iris said quieter.

He was breathing heavily, chewing at his lower lip. Iris stood a few feet away, she didn't want to touch him and make him worse so she waited for him to come down from whatever was happening. He turned and sat, leaning up against the railings of the fire escape. 

"Are you okay?" Iris asked.  
"I just... I needed air." He said looking around him.  
"Do you need anything else? Water?" Iris asked unsure of what to do.  
"I think I'm okay now."   
"Are you sure?"   
"No." He said after a minute, pressing his hands to his face and rubbing his eyes.  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
He was looking around, flinching at every car horn, every siren. Iris stood up, trying to move as slow as possible.  
"Here, I think I have something you might like to try."

Iris climbed back into the apartment and went to her desk where her old ipod sat plugged into the computer. She unplugged it and grabbed her headphones as well as a blanket from the couch before heading back out onto the porch. He was muttering something to himself, his body curled up into a tight ball, much like the way he was when she found him on the stoop. 

"James," Iris said quietly, setting a hand on his shoulder.

He flinched away from her, eyes meeting hers only to look extremely lost and confused. Iris settled down beside him and folded her legs underneath her. She draped the blanket over him and pulled it around her own shoulders before offering him an ear bud. He looked at her questioningly and she merely slipped one of the ear buds in her own ear. He followed suit silently as she picked a playlist she usually used to fall asleep on stressful nights. As the melodies picked up the soft and sweet hum of an acoustic guitar and rhythmic beat of a drum Iris could feel James's shoulders begin to relax. The cold metal of his left arm could be felt under the flannel as it eased against her right shoulder. He let his head lean back so it was resting on the metal railing, his hands which were once balled into fists in his lap relaxed open and his legs settled outwards. 

"What the hell happened to you?" Iris said under her breath.   
***  
Iris and James sat quietly at the table as they ate lunch, occasionally Iris would look up from her grilled cheese to see James staring off at nothing in particular. She knew he probably needed help, but with no health care to speak of and the whole 'no doctors' thing it would probably be impossible for Iris to get him in with anyone. So instead she resolved to just be there, to be quiet or to talk if he wanted and that's how she would work it. For now the silence seemed normal and while he wasn't exactly focused, the tension in his forehead and shoulders had lessened greatly. She turned her attention to who he was. How the hell was he still alive? It was something that gnawed at her while she went about her day. Steve Rogers had stayed alive because of ice or something like that. Maybe he was also in the ice? That didn't seem right, she hadn't heard any news of him being discovered like Steve had been. That was front page news for weeks. 

She looked up at James ready to ask him but as he picked at the crust of his sandwich she couldn't help but feel like it was inappropriate timing. She glanced over at her TV. If he was anything like Steve Rogers, and at this point she just had to assume he was, he would have missed out on a lot. 

"How do you feel about cartoons?" Iris asked out of the blue.  
James looked down at her confused.  
"Cartoons?" He asked cocking an eyebrow.  
"You know, animated movies and stuff."  
"I've... never seen them."  
"Perfect," Iris said standing and moving to a milk crate next to the couch.  
"You like movies?" She asked as she rummaged through the box.  
"I-- I don't know," James had followed her over to the couch, curious at what she was doing.   
"Well we're going to find out then," Iris leaned back onto the couch with an arm full of DVD cases.   
Iris held up two cases and looked between them before resolving her choice.   
"I get a science fiction vibe from you," she said dropping Lord of the Rings for Star Wars.  
"We'll work our way through these."  
"What are they about?" James sat down and watched as she popped the disk into the player.  
"Space and robots and laser swords. That's a really bad synopsis but I mean you kind of have to watch it," Iris said settling into the corner of the couch.

Iris had been right on the nose about the science fiction part, James sat attentive and even at one point completely enthralled in the movies. Iris drifted in and out, scrolling through social media on her phone. They spent the rest of the evening watching the Star Wars collection she had inherited from her dad. Iris put in the final movie around eleven and was asleep by midnight. James however watched it all the way through. There were flying ships and alien bars and little robots that made strange noises and others that talked. It stirred something in his gut, something that kept him yearning for more. When the movie finally finished he turned to Iris to ask if there were any more, only to find her slumped over the arm of the couch asleep. 

He pulled the blanket that they had shared earlier that day off the back of the couch and laid it over her before settling into his normal nighttime routine. He would make sure the window was locked and the shade drawn, he'd check the front door and look out into the hall through the peephole, then when everything was clear he would go to the couch and sit only to do the same routine a few hours later. He didn't like sleeping, it was vulnerable. Sometimes he would run a bath, make sure the bathroom door was locked and just soak in the usually searing hot water until it became cold.

Tonight he looked between the couch and the computer. He had stayed up all night going through stuff on the internet before and he wanted to try it again. This time he wanted to keep track of some of the stuff and searched for something to write on. When he only found a sharpie he resolved to writing on his hand. When the light began to leak in through the window and James could feel the sleep pulling at his lids he returned to the couch where he sat watching the sun slowly make its way into the apartment.   
***  
James stood at the stove, cracking eggs over the hot skillet. He wasn't used to providing for himself but as his time with Iris grew longer he wanted to lessen the burden he put on her. Plus the midnight cooking shows helped. He was putting on the kettle when he heard something at the front door. It was a sliding clicking noise, like someone was trying to get in. He froze for a second, glancing over at Iris who was still deep asleep on the couch. He stepped back from the stove and silently pulled the cutlery drawer out and grabbing onto the biggest kitchen knife Iris had. He began analyzing the situation. Two exit points, front door which was at the moment not an option, and fire escape. If it was more than one or two people he would get out the window then make a run for the alleyway. His eyes flicked over to Iris again. How was he going to get her out? He had never really had to make plans to extract more than himself. He tightened his grip on the knife as he stepped over the floorboards that he knew creaked. He'd just have to fight hard enough to give her time to get herself out. Protecting someone else, that was new too.

The lock clicked and the door swung open. James stood behind the door, waiting for the intruder to take a few more steps. There was only one of them which was good. He could subdue them and question them easily that way. As the trespasser stepped in James swung the door shut with a loud bang. They jumped and let out a startled yelp as he shoved them against the other wall, slamming the knife into the wall next to their head.   
Iris sat straight up on the couch, looking around frantically for whatever had just made all the noise. The apartment smelt like burning eggs and as she looked down the hall at the front door she saw James looking extremely confused as he starred down at a trembling Desiree. 

"James!" Iris leapt over the back of the couch to grab onto his arm which held the knife which was currently buried in the wall.  
"What the fuck! What the fuck Iris!" Desiree screamed as Iris pulled James away from her, gently slipping the knife from his hand which he oddly made no effort to resist.   
"Just a misunderstanding!" Iris ushered James back into the kitchen before shoving the knife away.   
"I-- I thought she was breaking in," James looked flustered, a look she wasn't used to on him. He almost looked scared why the way he backed away from Iris.  
"Desiree has a key. You gotta remember, this is just a normal place, normal apartment. She's not going to hurt you."

Iris looked back over her shoulder to see Desiree peering into the kitchen. She waved her off and turned back to James.

"Don't lose it again, James. We're okay, you're okay," Iris said trying to walk a line between scolding and comforting.   
He nodded.  
"I'll just..." He moved to grab the pan of eggs which were several shades of black past done.   
"You want some music?" She asked, unsure of what her next move should be.

He looked between Iris and the living room and shook his head. 

"I'd rather just sit back here," he nodded to the table.  
"Okay. Good," Iris said nodding and returning to the living room where Desiree chewed at her cheek.  
"What the fuck was that? You have a new body guard? You under police protection or something?" She asked.  
"Calm down it's fine."  
"He came at me with a fucking knife, Iris, nothing is fine."  
"He didn't cut you. He thought you were breaking in. You can see reason behind that right?" Iris asked.  
"You didn't feel the need to tell him that your ex has a key to your apartment and regularly drops by? Or better yet you neglected to tell me that you had moved on to bigger... hairier prospects?" The anger had pretty much drained from Desiree's voice, but she was going to keep berating Iris until she felt better which was what Iris honestly felt like she deserved. 

"I didn't know you were into lumberjacks." Desiree said under her breath as she wrapped her arms around Iris. Desiree was taller than Iris by five inches, her hair was pulled back in a scarf, the tight curls of her dark hair hanging lazily out the back. Her bright green eyes contrasted with her warm skin and mauve lipstick.  
"Please shut up." Iris said her voice hoarse and throat dry.  
"So why is he here?" Desiree asked jumping over the back of the couch to sit, glancing back at James who tried to play off the fact that he was staring at both of them.   
"Because I'm a nice person, he needed a place for a little while." Iris said.  
"Well minus the beard he's not too bad looking..." Desiree said.  
"That's not why-" "I'm just teasing," Desiree said, the playfulness back in her voice.  
"But seriously how stable is he?" She asked, leaning in to whisper to her.  
"He's... he's a special case."  
"A special case of crazy?"  
"Desiree," Iris hissed.  
"Sorry but the man just attacked me with a knife."  
"He thought you were breaking in," Iris reminded her.  
"Doesn't make it right," Desiree sighed before looking back at James who was up in the kitchen again.  
"At least I know you're safe."  
"How's the whole hacker thing going?" Iris asked.  
Desiree leaned her head back on the couch.  
"Fine. I mean, pretty good. Shit, the stuff I found last week it's risky."  
"Risky? Are you safe?"  
"Psh, when am I not safe? Yeah, I'm fine. Wish you could see it but that would mean..."  
"Yeah, I know. Danger. I've got a handful myself," Iris watched as James stood at the stove, staring down at the kettle like he didn't know what else to do with himself. She needed to get him outside.  
"Look, it's been a while since we had dinner or something. Why don't I finish up what I'm working on and I'll come by tomorrow night. Then you can clue me into this big mission you're working on." Desiree motioned back at James as the kettle began to squeal.   
"Sure," Iris sighed, glad Desiree wasn't still angry about James.   
"Good. I'll see you tomorrow then," Desiree kissed Iris's cheek and stood from the couch.  
"Hey. Thanks for not slicing my throat," Desiree said, leaning into the kitchen.  
James nodded to her as she gave him a tight lipped smile before disappearing down the hall and out the front door. When she was gone James brought Iris a cup of tea.

"Thanks... I should have told you about Desiree. We used to date but when that fell through... you know what, all you gotta worry about is she comes by every now and then to say hi. She's the only other person with a key," Iris explained.  
"No. I shouldn't have done that. I keep forgetting... forgetting where I am," James dropped his head, letting the steam from his tea plume in his face.   
"What's this?" Iris asked after a moment of awkward silence, pointing to what looked like smeared ink on his hand.   
"I couldn't find paper." He said sheepishly.  
"Are those more notes? What did you find?" Iris asked as she tugged the sleeves up on his shirt. The writing went from his wrist to his elbow, random words that seemed less like comprehensive reading and more like trigger words to help with remembering.   
"I found... everything. The name of his mother and father, his siblings, the hospital he was born at-" "Yours. Those are all yours James." Iris corrected.  
"Right... I'm just not used to it. Names mean something though. I see faces. They're out of focus and blurry but I remember... something." He said closing his eyes for a minute.   
"It'll come in time I'm sure. I mean it has to right? Can someone really forget something? Do memories stay in your head even though you can't summon them? We'll figure it out," Iris said, still unsure of how good their chances were.  
"Also, I'll get you a notebook," she said smiling.


	4. Dreamer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, gotta be honest, I kinda forgot to update! I know this is another kinda fillery chapter but don't worry the action is picking up in the next chapter! Thanks for sticking with me!

Iris was fast asleep in her bed while James sat on the couch in his usual spot. He stared at the TV while some older women talked about knock off leather purses that came in three different colors. He felt his eyelids becoming heavier as the hum of the TV set filled the apartment. He let his eyes close for a second when he felt two hands gently kneading at his shoulders. 

"You're shoulders are always so tight. You have to relax some time James," Iris purred in his ear.   
He glanced at the bed only to see that she wasn't there anymore. He must have drifted off and not noticed when she got up.  
"I can't," he said quietly as the tips of her fingers worked up the back of his neck and into his hair.   
He rolled his shoulders back, leaning his head into her hands.  
"Is it because they're coming for you?" She asked.  
"What?" That wasn't right, something was off.   
One of Iris's hands grabbed a wad of his hair and yanked his head back. James's whole body tensed as he tried to pull away but he felt cemented to the spot.   
"You can't escape us, Winter Soldier."   
Iris's once soothing voice turned darker, harder, he could feel her breath at his ear as he struggled against restraints on his arms and legs.   
"You'll come back to us in the end. You know nothing else but the blood you've shed."  
Something sharp and cold, the familiar feeling of a needle, was jabbed into his shoulder and he fell to the ground.  
"James?" He could hear Iris's voice again, but it was back to its normal sweet self.   
"James!" She cried.   
"James, oh my god, James!" Iris propped his head up on her lap as he came to.  
"Can you hear me?" Iris said as she saw him blink a few times.  
Everything was quiet until he started shouting, yelling in his sleep as he thrashed on the couch before standing up and collapsing in the middle of the living room.   
"James?" He could hear tears in her voice although her face was in shadow from the little light there was in the room.  
"Iris?" His voice was weak and hoarse.  
"Are you okay? You hit your head pretty hard," she brushed the hair out of his face.  
"What happened?"   
"You were having a nightmare then you collapsed. It sounded pretty awful," Iris said as he began to sit up, only to teeter then relax back into her lap.  
"My head," he pressed his hand to the side of his temples, a sharp yet familiar stinging echoed through his skull.  
"I can get you pain meds," Iris offered.  
"No, no. I'm fine. I just need some rest."  
"Yeah, you do." Iris said pulling her fingers through his hair. 

Oddly the action felt more real, more soothing. Her hair brushed over his face as she rocked from side to side slowly, humming something low. After a few minutes he sat up with the help of Iris. He went to sit on the couch when she re-directed him to the bed.

"You sleep there. I'll take the couch."  
"No, I-"

Iris merely eased him back onto the bed, the sheer softness of the mattress was something he hadn't felt before. He was so tired, so physically and emotionally exhausted he fell asleep almost as soon as his head his the pillow. Iris smiled sadly while she draped a blanket over him and laid back down on the couch.   
***  
"I have work today so I won't be back until four."Iris said rummaging through the pile of mostly clean clothing next to her bed.   
"Then I'll find something to do until then." James said.  
"You can stay here. I don't mind." Iris said pulling out a uniform top and black slacks.  
"I'd rather be out there for the day." James said pausing at the window for a moment, he seemed fidgety, rolling the hem of his shirt between his fingers as he sat on the edge of Iris's bed.  
"Okay. Do you mind walking me to the subway station?" She asked.  
"No. I can walk you all the way to work if you'd like," he said.  
"I'll be fine," Iris said smiling before heading into the bathroom.  
***  
When the subway pulled up to the station James was waiting on a bench against the tiled wall. Iris stepped onto the platform amongst other homebound city goers. She hoisted the strap of her bag higher up onto her shoulder before walking towards James who stood when he saw her.

"Long day?" He asked as they headed up the stairs.  
"Somewhat. Normal really. I'm just glad to be home. Thanks for meeting me, wish I had a body guard every time I walked home," she said as they turned down the street towards Iris's apartment.   
"Is it dangerous?" James asked.  
"Yes. For the most part people like you are safe, for the most part," Iris said glancing at his side where he was stabbed not so long ago.  
"For girls like me, not so much," she said as she glimpsed down a dark alley.   
"Ever get attacked?" He asked.  
"A few times, but obviously when my whole body is a tazer they seem to back off pretty fast." Iris said   
"I can see how that would be useful." He said, he scratched at his face, the facial hair had seemed to be getting to him.  
"You not used to a beard huh?" Iris asked.  
"Not so much."   
"We'll fix that," Iris said as they turned up the stairs for the complex.  
***  
"You don't have to do this." He said as Iris perused the razors.  
"Look you're a guest of mine and I insist. Remember what happened when you refused before?" Iris said picking up a four pack and dropping them into the bag.  
"I don't have any way to repay you." James said.  
"Fine. Walk me to and from work whenever I need it," Iris said after a minute.   
"That's not enough."   
"You really want to work harder than that?"   
"Yes."   
"Then... wash my clothes?" Iris asked.  
"That's it?"   
"You really think walking my annoying ass to work and washing my nasty clothing is not enough for some razors and shampoo?" Iris asked.  
"I don't want to owe you anything," he replied following her through the aisles.   
"Just walk me home, do my laundry, take out the trash or something. You'll be fine."   
Something lit up in James's brain, a memory too far away and too dim to really see but there was something there.  
"Okay."   
"Good. Let's get something that doesn't smell like flowers for you to wash your hair with," she said going a few aisles over.  
"I don't mind using yours."  
"Then we'll get you your own bottle," she said grabbing the same shampoo she used from the shelf.  
"I didn't mean-" "Do you want something else?" She asked.  
"No. It's fine."   
"You sure?"  
He nodded.  
"Okay. Now let's get you something you sorely need." She headed towards the office supplies section, grabbing a package of pens in passing.  
"Pick one out. Probably one with a lot of pages." Iris said nodding to the wall of notebooks.  
"A journal?"   
"After my dad died my mom took me to counseling. There was a lot of back pats and sympathy but the one good thing I got from it was journaling. It helps keep me focused when I can't see through all the crap around me. Maybe it'll help you with your memory too. Also those notes, can't keep writing on your arms," she said watching him pace in front of the books.  
"This one seems good," he pulled a 100 page notebook from the top shelf.  
"Good. Want stickers for it?" Iris asked as they headed to the clothing section.  
***  
"How'd the job go today?" Iris asked as she opened a takeout box.   
"I got Penelope to help me. She ran back up and we cracked it in under an hour." Desiree said grabbing a fork and her own box.  
"So, give it to me."  
"What?" Iris asked.  
"You said you'd explain everything now. So, explain." 

Iris looked at James who looked back at her. He nodded slowly before looking back at his food. Iris stood and went to the kitchen table, removing James's notes from the brochure, Desiree didn't need to read those. She handed it to Desiree and sat back down on the couch. 

"What's this?" She opened it, scanning the various paragraphs before she came to the picture.   
She squinted at it before standing and going to the lamp to get a better look. She glanced up at Iris, not moving her head as she tried to infer what Iris was getting at. But slowly she raised the picture of Bucky Barnes so it was in line with James's newly shaven face.

"Holy shit," she breathed.  
"You're a fucking fossil," Desiree said.  
Iris and James exchanged looks again, a small smile pulling at the corner of Iris's lips.   
"Well. Iris can power a small village and you're, like what? A 90 year old man with a fridge for an arm? Guess we're having a freak party." Desiree said sitting down again.  
"Desiree. Have anything else to say?" Iris said picking at the mushrooms in her Mongolian barbeque.   
Desiree sighed "I'm a technomancer," she said.  
"What?" James asked.  
"I can bring shit to life. Electronic shit mainly. I can't give it a personality or anything but I can make it do things for me. That's why I'm such a good hacker."  
"See. You're in good company with us." Iris said smiling.  
James chewed while looking between Iris and Desiree and low and behold a smile appeared on his lips.  
"Okay."  
"Okay? That's it? I only get okay. This guy attacks me with a knife and all I get is an okay," Desiree said sarcastically.  
"You got a smile. That's a huge reward." Iris said looking and James and nodding.   
***

"Okay so start with yesterday."  
"You were with me all day, you could-" "you're missing the point." Iris offered him the pen.  
"This is to help you remember, not me," Iris said as he reluctantly took the pen from her.  
"Okay... Well we went to the store. We bought shampoo, razors, shaving cream, this pen, a notebook. Clothing." James's handwriting was a shakey cursive that ran across the paper in a continuous line much like the notes from the crumpled brochure.  
"What did we have for dinner?" Iris asked.  
"Sum's Mongolian Barbecue." James continued.  
"Breakfast was orange juice and cottage cheese."  
"Right, good. Anything else you want to remember?" She asked.  
"The sun was out. It wasn't raining like the last few days. The sun was filtering through the clouds."

Iris smiled at him as he wrote. They could do this, at first she doubted. She had a 90 year old soldier with a metal arm sitting in her living room but right now he was just a man trying to remember and to forget.

"Okay, date that. Now what happened Friday?" She asked.

The night went on and they filled up several pages with the things they did. But it wasn't just a list of tasks and events. Sometimes he would write about the way the bath steam smelt like daisies or how the store front windows would fog up on cold morning, things Iris didn't notice anymore but found comforting to think about. Eventually Iris laid her head on the kitchen table and drifted to sleep listening to him describe how the taillights of the cars looked in the rain.

The next morning was chilly, the whole studio felt almost damp with the cold. Iris was curled up in a blanket on her bed which she couldn't remember getting into last night. James was on the couch a few feet away, the glow of the TV reflecting off his arm that dangled at his side. She sat up, groaning as her stiff muscles stretched and her joints popped. She wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and went to the radiator under the window. She twisted the handle before glancing over to James, she could see the notebook on the ground next to him, open to a random page. She scooped it up and wrapped the rubber band around it to close it, clipping the pen to the front cover and setting it on the table. He must have kept writing through the night judging from the accumulation of script dented pages that strained the band.

Iris started a kettle of hot water before going to the nook that kept her computer. As the system booted up a Skype window popped up, Desiree's screen name flashing with a new message.

Toxicssss: hey, you're up early  
Ocula: I could say the same to you  
D: I had things to do I didn't go to sleep  
I: oh yeah you're working on that photo leak thing?  
D: yup pain in my ass why did I sign up to be digital vigilantes?  
I: you did. And I distinctly remember you saying something about not having to exercise.   
D: haha yeah that's right. How's the dinosaur doing?  
I: he's not a dinosaur and he's fine  
D: he's in the Smithsonian's, he's a dinosaur.  
I: he's a person, Tox  
D: how's the whole arm thing?  
I: fine. We got some car wax to clean it up. The joints still stick but this isn't civilian grade mechanics obviously. We can make it look okay but the plates make this weird clicking sound and you can hear strain on the motors. I doubt I could just dig up schematics on it.  
D: Buuuut...  
I: But what?  
D: I could.  
I: No, you don't have to.  
D: C'mon, this is the chance of a lifetime. I could go digging through government files again that's always fun.  
I: I'm going to say no but you're going to anyways, huh?  
D: ;)  
D: how old did you say this guy is?  
I: in his 90s at least. Don't know exactly how old but he's physically in his mid to late 20s  
D: oh yeaahhh?  
I: ugh don't be a creep  
D: just playing, you mind if I drop in for dinner tonight? I'll show you what I can find.  
I: sure. I get back from work around 6, bring drinks  
D: cool I gtg, love you.  
I: k, see you tonight, love you too.   
D: bye

The kettle began to whine on the stove, Iris logged off before getting up, she jumped as she saw James taking the kettle from the stove.  
"Sorry." He said as he got the teabags from the top of the fridge.  
"It's fine, you're so quiet." She said grabbing the sugar and some spoons, James getting the mugs.  
"How late were you up last night?" Iris asked sitting down at the table.  
"A little after five." He poured the water into her cup which she held up for him.  
"That was only three hours ago." Iris said glancing at the clock.  
"I don't need much sleep." He sat down across from her, he rolled his right shoulder back.  
"Your arm bothering you?"  
"No. Just a little stiff."  
"I take it you wrote a lot?" She tapped the notebook with her spoon.  
"As much as I could. I feel like if I fall asleep I might not remember when I wake up." He started staring out the window absently, he sounded like he was recounting something rather than stating it.  
"I'll make sure that doesn't happen," Iris said pouring sugar into her tea.  
"What if I don't want to remember some things. What if..." He paused trying to find the words.  
"What if I don't like what I remember?" He looked back at Iris.  
"When I was in fifth grade my principle called me to the office," she began.

"He told me to get my things, my mom was coming to pick me up. I didn't know why, I just knew I was going home early so I wasn't too torn up over it. I waited for her and when she came she looked like the light had been sucked from her. The car ride was quiet, I couldn't shake the feeling of stones in my stomach. We didn't go home, we went to the rez where my parents grew up. Finally we got to my grandmothers house where my whole family had gathered. Turns out my dad was reported KIA." Iris stirred the sugar, watching the little whirlpool spin.

"I didn't cry. I almost felt like I didn't know how to. But I can remember my grandmother wailing. She kept saying her baby boy had been taken from her. My grandmother was always so quiet. That strong kind of quiet you know? When she spoke you listened that was it. But this time she screamed so loud like she was trying to get the whole world to listen to her. Like she wanted them all to know that her son had been taken from her. I don't want to remember that. I don't want to remember her pain or how I felt afraid of her in that moment. I want to forget how my aunt eventually died from alcohol poisoning. I don't want to remember how my mother tried to hold it together for me but always ended up crying. I don't want to remember those few years where it felt like my family was physically falling apart. But I have to. Those memories make me who I am. Those memories are my past and if I don't remember them then who will?" Iris took a sip of her tea and looked up.

"Sometimes we don't want to remember things because they cause us pain. But if we don't learn from them we're doomed to keep making them. So it is important that you remember at least some of the things you did that weren't exactly pleasant." 

James watched as she ran her fingertips around the rim of her mug.   
"Thank you." he said.   
"You say that too much," Iris said smiling.  
"Isn't it about time for work?" James said leaning back in his chair and looking at the stove clock.  
"Yeah. You raring to go for another rousing walk to the subway?" Iris asked.  
"As always."   
"Your hair looks nice by the way." Iris said getting up and going to get a protein bar from the pantry.  
"Thanks. I needed to get it out of my eyes," James pulled at the bun he had knotted at the back of his head.  
"You're like a whole new man. I can't help but feel a little proud," Iris said biting the bar package open with her teeth.  
"I think I'm doing alright," James said bring his cup to the sink.  
"More than alright. Really. I don't know if I have the right to say this but... I'm proud of you."   
"Thank-" "Stop." Iris said smiling playfully.  
"C'mon I'm gonna be late!" She said skipping past him to the bathroom.


	5. Risk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's action time! Sorry if the fight scene is a little clunky, still trying to figure it out.

"Oh my god," Iris exclaimed exasperated as she stepped onto the train platform.  
"Tough day?" James asked as she leaned forward, resting her forehead on his chest and letting out a long overdramatic sigh.  
"You could say that. I guess it was 'be an asshole to your barista' day and no one told me," Iris said rolling off of him and starting their assent to the street above.  
"What happened?"   
"Nobody felt like being patient today. I had a man actually snap his fingers in my fucking face. I swear I am a saint for not pouring that hot coffee down his pants," she clenched her fist at the memory.  
"This other lady asked what didn't have coffee in it for her child then ordered a mocha frappuccino. She complained that it tasted like coffee and not like chocolate and that we had made a mistake. We had to explain that mocha was not a different word for hot chocolate," Iris said as they turned down her street.  
"I swear one day I'm going to quit before I get fired for assaulting someone," she said groaning.   
"That sounds like a very trying day." James wasn't quite sure what a 'mocha frappe-whatever' was but he assumed it was something special.   
"Yes. Yes it was." Iris pulled her phone from her pocket as they neared the complex.  
"I expected Desiree to have texted me by now." She said as they walked up the steps to the front door.  
"Whatever. I'm too exhausted to deal with her. If she gets here she gets here."   
The elevator clanged to a stop and they got out on their floor. Iris welcomed the lumpy cushions of her worn out couch as she flipped over the back of it. She stretched before latching onto a pillow.  
"How do I work somewhere that all I do is sleep?" Iris's voice was muffled by the pillow.  
"What's for dinner?" James asked opening the fridge.  
"Oh god I forgot I had to provide for myself," Iris said rolling onto the floor and failing to stand up afterwards, she laid face down in the carpet for a moment before James came into the living room.  
"C'mere." He said lifting her up by her underarms.   
"I'll make something for dinner. You take a bath. A nice hot one." He said smiling.  
"You are looking awfully dreamy today Mr. Barnes." Iris said squinting her eyes at him suspiciously.  
"I had a good day while you were having a bad one," he said.  
"Did you remember something?" Iris asked, James looked away, the smile still subtly plastered on his face.  
"Okay, look I'm going to go take a bath and I want to hear everything when I come out." Iris said backing away towards the bathroom, James nodded silently as she clapped her hands together and turned to take a bath. Iris snatched up her phone on the way, sending a text to Desiree who was late for their dinner date.  
***  
When Iris came out of the bathroom in a fresh pair of sweatpants the whole place smelt like steak and bacon. Iris's stomach growled violently as she sat down at the table. James was barefoot and had on the army sweat pants she had given him as well as a white t-shirt they had bought the other day. He brought over two dishes with perfectly presented bacon wrapped steak and a pile of vegetables.

"Whose five star restaurant did you rob?" Iris asked.  
"It's technically your food," he said setting them down in front of her.  
"I had steak?" She asked.  
"It was old, but frozen, so still good."  
Iris stared at him for a moment trying to suppress a smile.  
"I set myself up for that one didn't I?" He asked after a moment.  
"Yes, yes you did," Iris said laughing finally.  
"I'll take it." He sat down.  
There was silence as they both ate, Iris scarfing down as much as she could get on her fork. Iris's cell phone went off in the bathroom so she stood get it when the doorbell rang.  
"Must be Desiree, can you get my phone?" Iris asked as she went to wipe her hands before heading to the door.  
"Yeah." James went into the humid bathroom and grabbed her phone from the sink counter. Several messages were glowing on the screen and five missed calls.

Desiree: Iris pick up ur in danger  
Desiree: Iris pick up  
Desiree: Iris!

James looked up from the phone, he could feel his muscles tense up as he heard the front door open. The sound of something heavy hitting the floor sent him rushing for the living room. Iris let out a panicked scream as several men dressed in some kind of tactical uniform pushed their way into the apartment. One of them had Iris against the wall, their forearm against her throat. The others rushed towards James as he readied himself for a fight. 

Iris gagged as she tried to catch her breath. It was like she had let a hurricane into her apartment as they flooded her living room. Iris latched onto the man's arm who was holding her and tried to shock them but only a quiet snicker came in return. The man's uniform was shock proof. Iris went to her next best weapon, lashing out with her feet, she caught his knee which made him falter to the left. Iris slid to the floor to her right as she scrambled away from him. She could see two men wrestling James who was trying to fight them off, but his reflexes on his metal arm were slowed by a lack of maintenance. Iris grabbed onto the back of one of the men, trying to make contact with their skin. She found a strip of exposed flesh on the back of his neck and sent him across the room with a bolt of energy. 

"James!" Iris cried as she tried to grab the other man trying to restrain him.   
The man knocked her back with his elbow and the other one who had originally grabbed her was back on his feet. He wrapped his arms around her, restraining her from the back. Iris kicked and screamed trying to get the neighbors to hear her.   
"Get off of me!" They lifted her off the ground taking away any momentum she once had.  
"James! James they're shock proof!" She yelled as they slammed her to the floor.  
"James!" Iris had devolved into a mixture of sobbing and shrieking.  
James landed a few good punches, knocking one of the men off balance but the other had him well cornered as his partner steadied himself.  
"Bucky!" Iris was becoming desperate, her screams were filled with terror as she tried to fight off the suffocating weight as they kneeled into her back.

"B-Bucky!" James froze for a second as he heard her yell his name. His name. Yes, Bucky was good. He was good, he could do good right now. Something clicked and it was like the sluggishness of his arm didn't even bother him anymore. He was fighting because he wanted to, because he needed to. He wasn't doing someone else's dirty work anymore. He swung his arm around, his full weight landing in the jaw of one of the men who had his human arm. In the process he broke the grip and stunned the other. He pulled his arm back knocking the other man from him. He grabbed a chair from the kitchen table and flung it across the room knocking one of the men out of the doorway before grabbing the other by the collar of his armored vest and pulling him off of Iris.

He shoved him backwards and out into the hall knocking the man who had been bashed with the chair back over again.  
"C'mon get up we have to go," Bucky pulled Iris to her feet. 

She stumbled, trying to catch her breath, Bucky putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her past their dazed attackers. Some neighbors had their doors open slightly, peering out at the two of them as they ran down towards the stairwell. 

"Who were they?" Iris asked as she shoved the door open, Bucky turned the corner only to recoil backwards, catching Iris in the process to keep her from running straight into reinforcements.  
"Go, go, go!" Bucky said pushing her out of the door and back into the hall.   
"Where?" Iris asked as they ran towards the elevator at the opposite end. 

Bucky slammed the elevator button and watched as the indicator slowly blinked up to their floor. Finally the doors opened as the door to the stairwell was thrown back open. Bucky ushered Iris in first before they pressed themselves to the wall on either side. Iris's head was pounding as she tried to comprehend what was happening but as the doors began to slide closed loud pops filled the metal box of the elevator they were standing in. Iris sunk down the wall as she clasped her hands over her ears. She watched Bucky across from her who was watching the elevator doors closing, his head pressed against the wall.

He must have seen something alarming because as the elevator began to move he lunged towards Iris and wrapped his arms over her like he was shielding her form something.  
"Hold on." He said quietly in her ear before an explosion rocked the lift. There was a second before the elevator plummeted towards the first floor. The lights flashed off as they crashed into the basement landing. Iris's ears were ringing as she blinked through the dust that had filled the elevator, she couldn't remember anything after the explosion like she had been asleep through it. The elevator was dark and Iris's eyes were taking too long to adjust. 

"Bucky..." She said weakly as she tried to sit up.  
"Iris? Iris are you okay?" His voice was coming from somewhere in the darkness.  
"I can't see you." She said, her voice was rough.  
"Hold still, I'm going to get us out of here," there was a shrill screeching noise as he pulled apart the elevator doors. Light flooded in and Iris could see Bucky looking out into the lobby level hallway.  
"Iris? Do you feel any pain anywhere?" He asked kneeling over her.  
"No, I'm okay." She said pulling herself up with the railing.  
"Be careful." Bucky said pulling her up to her feet.  
"Okay I need you to crawl out first." He went to the door and offered a hand to help her up.

Iris pushed herself up onto the tile, sliding her legs out of the gap between the top of the elevator and the floor. She could see flashing blue and red lights through the frosted glass of the apartment complex's front door. Bucky pulled himself out after Iris and straightened himself up. They could hear yelling from the upper floors, Iris's stomach flipped as she thought about her neighbors who were probably caught in the blast.

"What happened?" She asked rubbing the bruises she could feel forming on her arms.  
"They threw a grenade. High powered one at that." He said pulling her towards the door.   
"Who the hell are they?" Iris asked, not that she thought Bucky would know the answer.  
"If I had to guess? Hydra." Bucky pulled back the old curtains that had long since collected dust from one of the slim windows on either side of the door.  
"Hyrda...?"   
"Oh my god. Oh my god this is all my fault. Desiree. I had Desiree look into you what if she-" Her voice was cracking, her emotions wavered between disbelief and complete panic.  
"Iris, you need to listen to me now. We need to get out of here then we'll talk about Hydra." He rested his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes trying to get her to focus.  
Iris nodded as she bit back the tears and trembling lip. Bucky turned towards the back exit, toeing Iris behind him.  
"What about the police?" Iris asked.  
"Those aren't the police." He glanced back at her nodding, motioning for her to follow.  
"How do you-" "Because I used a ploy like that when I was hunting someone once." Bucky had opened the door, a bitter breeze blew through the hallway. Iris shivered and she wasn't quite sure if it was because of the temperature or not.   
"Where do we go?"   
"Someplace safe." He said moving out into the alleyway that ran next to the complex.  
"If those aren't real cops then maybe we can go to the police station and-"   
"No they'll have someone there too."  
"Then what do we do?" Iris asked.  
"We disappear."


	6. Run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> I am so so so SO sorry that it took this long to update, I have all the chapters written but my computer was out of commission permanently. Luckily I had the chapters saved to a dropbox and was able to finally get it open on my new laptop which I only just bought. Yeah, I was without a computer for about a month and a half if not more. So expect not only regular updates again but I'm gonna try and make it up to you guys by updating this everyday for the next few days or so. Thank you for the Kudos while I was away! On with the show.

"This feels wrong," Iris whispered as Bucky rummaged through a dryer at a 24 hour laundry mat.   
"It's better than dying," he said. He was in full survival mode, get what you need and get out. Something he was too used to doing.  
"This could be all these people have." Iris said.  
"Iris." Bucky said softy as he turned to her, he wasn't used to doing things gently so his voice sounded more warning than calm.  
"I-I'm sorry I just... I don't know what to do and I'm... I'm-" Iris tried to hold back the tears but her nerves were so frayed they poured over her lids anyways.  
"You're scared." Bucky said resting his hands on her arms.  
"What happened to Desiree? What's going to happen to us? Hydra is going to kill-" "Iris, you're not alone in this. I'm with you. I know Hydra, I know how they work. You've helped me and now it's my turn to help you." Bucky squeezed Iris's arms a little as she wiped her face, she fell forward and wrapped her arms around him. At first he didn't know what to do, the sensation was foreign but comforting. Could someone forget what it was like to hold someone? To comfort someone? Bucky wrapped his arms around Iris and waited for the stuttering sobs to stop. Finally Iris let her arms fall to her side and took a step back.  
"I'll follow you." She said.  
"Okay. Get something warm. Tonight is going to be a cold one."   
#  
Iris knocked on the metal sheet that covered the opening of an old warehouse. She kept her head down hood pulled up and face covered with a scarf.  
"Iris? Oh my god." Desiree said pulling her into a tight hug.  
"James." She said seeing him behind her and wrapping an arm around his neck as well.  
"You two had me worried. Get inside before someone sees you." She said pulling them into the warehouse and slidding the metal siding back over the opening.  
"Desiree how'd you-" Desiree held up a finger and pulled them towards a staircase that lead down into what looked like a basement. Desiree opened the door and ushered them inside before closing the door behind her and turning on a light.   
"Okay, now we can talk." She said pulling the wall shut.  
"You think people are watching you?" Bucky asked.  
"No, I mean, not really but just in case," Desiree said sitting on a couch that was pushed against the right wall.  
"Thank you Desiree. You're in danger by letting us in here." Iris said.  
"I just need to know you're safe." Desiree said.  
"We can't stay." Bucky said.  
"I know. So I prepared some stuff." Desiree went to the corner and pulled out two duffle bags.   
"IDs, two train tickets out of town untraceable to you guys, some clothing and heat-n-eat food. A small bit of money to get you guys going wherever you end up." Desiree said.  
"You got these in a night?" Iris asked.  
"Well they were originally for you and me in case... in case I did something stupid and put us in danger," Desiree said before looking away.  
"I have some contacts who can get me fake IDs pretty quick. Train tickets were a breeze after that."   
"This money... where'd you get it?" Iris asked.  
"I've been... saving. You'll need it." Desiree said.  
"These are your safeguards, Des. We can't just-"  
"Please, do it. The people who are after you are powerful and dangerous." Desiree said.  
"I looked into dino here and what I found... it's not pretty." Desiree looked at Bucky who shifted uncomfortably.   
"Lot of shit covered up, lots of conspiracies about someone called The Winter Soldier."  
Bucky physically flinched at the name, biting down on his lip as he went to examine the opening to their hideout.  
"You wouldn't know anything about them would you?" Desiree asked looking at him.  
"What are you getting at Des?"  
"An assassin. Pretty bad dude, killed a lot of people over a very long time. Hydra is probably looking for him," Desiree kept her eyes trained on Bucky who scratched at the scar where his metal arm met skin.  
"Said he had a metal arm."  
Iris's brow furrowed and looked between Bucky and Desiree.  
"No. No way." Iris stood up and went to Bucky.  
"There's no way that he-"  
"She's right."  
"What?" Iris stared at Bucky.  
"I had to dig pretty deep. Probably to places I shouldn't have to find information on this guy. On you." Desiree stood next to Iris.  
"Hydra..."  
"They made him into a killing machine, Iris."  
"No, not anymore," Iris turned to Desiree.  
"That might have been what they wanted but he's different now."  
Bucky looked down at Iris confused. Why was she defending him?  
"I thought you'd say that," Desiree chuckled, dropping her head and shaking it before sighing.   
"They'll be after you soon Desiree. If we take these how are you-?" "I'll be fine. These are only plan B." Desiree said winking.  
"I can't-" "You can, Iris." Desiree clasped her hands over Iris's.  
"But... I might never see you again." Iris said her voice breaking, this time it was dry from all of the walking they did.  
"We'll find a way. We will." Desiree said wrapping her arms around Iris who buried her face in Desiree's shoulder.  
"We always do." Desiree pulled back slightly and kissed Iris's forehead before letting her go.  
"James." Desiree said turning to him as Iris wiped her face.  
"Take damn good care of her. She opened her home to you and she believes in you. If you're good now, the way Iris believes, I want you to fight for her." Desiree said.  
"I will." Bucky replied, letting the tension in his shoulders relax a little.  
"Fucking promise."   
"I promise, Desiree." Bucky said nodding this time.  
"Good. Because I love her. If you get her killed I swear I will-"   
"Desiree. I think he gets it." Iris said smiling despite the tears.  
"Good... I just... I'm so worried about you." Desiree said tearing up herself.  
"Desiree-" "Go, just get going before I make you stay despite myself." She said.  
#  
"This will get us to New Jersey." Iris said flipping the tickets over in her hands a few times.  
"From there we can plan our next step." Bucky said watching the crowds moving around them.  
"What will that be?" Iris asked.  
"Hopefully find a place to hide for a while. Somewhere in the Midwest or up North maybe. Somewhere small, anonymous."  
"Canada has always seemed nice." Iris replied.  
"What Desiree said about the Winter Soldier," Iris said after a few minutes of silence.  
"What about it?"  
"That's not you anymore." She said simply as if it were that simple. As if it were fact.  
With every turn Iris continued to amaze Bucky. She was forgiving and kind, it made it harder for him to try to leave her behind. Those first few days in her apartment he would go to the door while she was asleep and try to leave, but he would resolve to merely checking the locks. Now she was in too deep, he felt it was selfish to drag her around like this, but then again if he left and Hydra were to get their hands on her... he shook off that thought and focused on the train station around them. Something seemed off with a woman at a news stand by the front entrance. Bucky stood and motioned for Iris to follow.  
"Go to the bathroom." Bucky said.  
"What?" Iris asked.  
"Go to the bathroom, go into the largest stall and wait. I want to see if this woman follows you, she shouldn't attack you in such a public space. They'd be too obvious wearing shock proof gear so give them all you've got and I'll be right in after you if anything goes South. Don't tense up they'll know." He said forcing a smile as they headed for the bathroom.  
He could see the woman in a glass display window move from her spot, she was following them.  
"Got it." Iris said mimicking his smile the best she could.   
Iris walked into the bathroom, Bucky going to a sunglasses display a few feet from the entrance and began trying some on. The woman followed a few paces behind, she was focused, her eyes forward, trying not to look suspicious. Iris went to the large stall and waited. Two women at the counter were talking as they fixed their makeup, a few others were coming and going from the other stalls. Iris took a few deep breaths trying to calm her nerves. A few minutes passed and the room fell silent which was weird for a train station bathroom. Iris opened the door to find the women who had been at the counter gone, the other stalls empty. Their pursuer wasn't there, Iris nodded trying to reassure herself that everything was okay.  
Iris walked a few steps before someone grabbed her arm and dragged her into a stall. Iris's heart thumped rapidly in her ears as she tried to focus on her powers.  
"Iris Hunt my name in Maria Hill I'm here to-" Iris sent a surge of energy rushing through the woman's body which went rigid before dropping to the floor.   
Iris pushed her way out of the stall looking back momentarily before running out into the station and straight into Bucky.  
"What happened?" He asked.  
"We need to go they're here for us." Iris said pulling him towards the exit.  
"Shit." Bucky stopped her as he saw more agents moving in, the woman in the bathroom must have alerted them.  
"I must not have hit her hard enough." Iris said taking a step back, they were no longer going for stealth, it was basically useless seeing as everyone knew they were there.  
"Get down!" A man dressed in civilian clothing yelled pulling a gun.  
Bucky pulled Iris behind him and pushed her towards the other exit, it was fruitless though as Iris saw more armed undercover agents coming towards them.  
"James Buchanan Barnes back down, you don't want to do this." The man said as a few other agents pulled guns and began flanking them.  
"Shit, shit, shit." Iris said as the crowds began clearing out, some people screaming.  
"Close your eyes, hope you don't mind static." Iris said putting her hand in the air, purple and white bolts of electricity arched to nearby groundings. The agents put their hands up, shielding their eyes from the light. Something behind them caught fire, the plastic chairs started melting around their metal frames. Iris pulled Bucky in a random direction as their pursuers regained themselves.  
"Plan?" Iris asked as they ran with the crowd that was trying to escape.  
"Just run," Bucky said.  
Iris reached out and grabbed onto his arm trying to keep up, her shorter legs hindering their progress. They headed towards the store fronts, it was narrower than the station meaning a thick current of people were ahead of them. Iris was hoping to disappear among them. But as they turned a corner towards a side exit they were cut off.  
"Stop!" A different woman from the one before blocked their path, two guns trained on them. Bucky halted violently, he knew her. He had fought her before.  
"Don't," she commanded as Iris's hand twitched ready to fire again.  
"Murder, espionage, assassination. That's your wrap, but kidnapping? That's really not your style," she said, she was smaller than Bucky, around the same size as Iris, but her presence commanded attention. Maybe it was the fiery red hair or the piercing look that she gave them but it was like her body wasn't the only extent of her reach.  
"You..." Bucky said.  
"Remember me? That's odd, last time I heard you had a hard time with that sort of thing."   
"You need to listen to me, Hydra is after us. We're just trying to get out of here safely," Bucky said.  
"I would love to never see you again but Steve wants to see you. You really messed him up," Bucky's jaw tensed at the name.  
"Surrender peacefully, Buck," Bucky turned slowly at the sound of the voice still holding Iris behind him who clung to him like a lost child.  
Silence hung in the air between Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes as they squared off. This time with less guns and more stressed glances.  
"She's in danger," Bucky said squeezing Iris's arm.  
"Whatever trouble you're in-" "Promise me. Promise me you'll protect her if we go with you." Bucky said, his expression authoritative.   
"You're Iris Hunt, right?" Steve asked.  
Iris nodded not stepping away from Bucky.  
"Nat, put the gun down," Steve rose his hand motioning to her to lower her weapon.  
"But-" "Natasha." He didn't yell but his voice had warning.  
"We don't want this to get ugly. We want to help you."  
"Why do you want us?" Iris asked.  
"I've been looking for him for a long time. You just happened to be caught in the cross fire." Steve said giving her an apologetic smile.  
"I wasn't kidnapped, if that's what you're saying." Iris took a step away from Bucky, trying to show them that he wasn't holding her against her will.  
"Bucky saved my life." Iris said   
"Don't hurt him," she said quietly, Bucky looked down at her almost surprised.  
"We... I don't want to." Steve said  
"You're just going to have to trust me."  
Iris looked back up at Bucky, she wanted his input. That's when it occurred to him. He was the good guy in her eyes, it was his opinion that mattered to her. Even though Captain America was on the news saving the world Iris knew Bucky, or at least the person he had become and she trusted him no matter how dangerous that was. He nodded slightly, this was a safer track than going it alone and they really didn't have any other choices now. Bucky had thought about seeking Steve out, finding him when he was ready, but he could never bring himself to do it. Maybe now was the best time, with Iris as his anchor he was beginning to consider that everything might just be okay.  
When Iris turned back, Steve was looking past her at Natasha, she couldn't decipher the look that flashed across his face before he was rushing at them. Several loud bangs echoed through the already panicked crowds of the train station. It took a second for Iris to realize that Steve wasn't attacking them but he was trying to protect them. They dove for cover behind thick ceramic planters and benches on either side of the hallway, Bucky, Steve and Iris on one side, Natasha on the other.   
"Barton what the hell is going on up there?" Natasha was yelling into what Iris assumed was an ear piece.  
"We've got Hydra." Natasha called out across the opening to Steve who nodded.  
"You and Barton deal with this, Hill and I will get these two out."   
"B-Bucky." Iris was pressed in the corner of the large planter and a wall, she was sitting with her back against it, one hand clutched her stomach, the other with a pinch of fabric from his shirt between her fingers as she tried to get his attention.  
He turned, confused at first but after a moment alarm spread across his expressions.   
"Iris?" His voice was softer than he could ever remember it being before as he moved towards her.   
Bullets caught the corners of their cover sending pieces of dirt and cement flying. Steve was watching the shooters and communicating with Agent Hill before turning back to Bucky who was pulling back Iris's left hand which was shaking. Her palm was filled with blood, maybe in a different time and place she would have mistaken it for paint. He swallowed hard as he stared at the blood, there was so much of it, why did he feel sick? He had seen so much in his unnatural lifetime this shouldn't have made him this uneasy.   
Something flashed through his mind, something dull and hazy but it made his heart pound. Blood pouring out of a bullet wound, but not in the abdomen, the throat. His hands clumsily pressed over the hole as the soldier choked on his own blood. Iris's shaking voice brought him back to reality. His metal hand was clasped against the wound on her shoulder and the other pressed to her stomach.   
"W-what's happening?" Her voice was high and pained as she resisted the shock that was overtaking her body. She was shaking, tears forming from sheer panic, yet she couldn't move. Sharp sobs were escaping from her as she tried to communicate something that she couldn't even understand, panic, fear, desperation. There was a glaring light from one of the windows that were installed high up along the tall train station walls and it was taking up most of Iris's vision. She could see Bucky, his face cutting in and out of focus. Her head was pounding and the only thing she could comprehend was the thought that she was dying and how much she didn't want to. Everything was cold and she felt numb, her body not responding to her commands and there was an inescapable feeling of despair as she slipped deeper and deeper into darkness.


	7. Ashes

Iris's eyelids were too heavy to open. She felt like she was trapped in her numb body, floating in a quietness she had never quiet experienced before. She could hear something, someone, on the outside. The voices were muffled and quiet like they were far away. There was something else in the void that she seemed to be lingering in. Bright flashes of blue, purple and white crackled through the darkness, her lightning, her spark. It danced like the Northern lights, morphing and changing. But soon the darkness began to fade into light, the sparks got farther away, the voices grew closer. Iris began picking up background noises, the sliding of a glass door being shut, the sound of something being set down next to her bed. Humming. It was some kind of melody Iris had heard when she was young. It was something her father used to sing to her mother when he was making breakfast.  
Iris could feel her body for the most part, it still felt far-off, not completely there but she moved her fingers, touching the fabric of soft blankets. She could finally open her eyes, a hazy film felt like it was pulled over her vision as she tried to blink it away. Iris could hear the deep breaths of someone sleeping nearby. It took her a minute to see clearly before looking around the room. There were holographic monitors to her left, she could see Manhattan through them on the other side of the windows that stretched from ceiling to floor. A side table held several vases of flowers, a card propped up in front of them. She wasn't in a normal hospital room, the view and technologically advanced equipment was evidence of that. She could see what looked like gallery grade art hanging on the wall across from her and frosted glass walls opposite the windows. Next to her in a large leather chair Bucky was sitting, his head tilted forward slightly, his hair falling in front of his face. She could tell he was sleeping by the way his shoulders slowly raised and lowered with his breath. A blanket was draped over his shoulders.  
Iris could feel something in her abdomen, a numbness that matched her shoulder. She could feel a sharp and persistent ache which radiated from both areas making Iris shift uncomfortably in the bed. She clenched her jaw as she tried to push herself up in the bed which made her wounds sting. She tried to recount the events in her head but after falling over from shock she couldn't remember anything although she was pretty sure she had still been conscious. Her head was still hazy from what she assumed was the drugs she was being pumped with. She didn't want to think about what she was going to feel like when they would inevitably wear off. Iris could hear Bucky mumbling something in his sleep, his voice was gravely and hushed, most of the words rushing together. Every now and then he would pause like he was trying to figure out what he was trying to say.  
"Bucky." Iris said surprised at how hoarse her voice was.  
"Get her, go get her first. Get her out of here. Get her," He was sounding more urgent with each word.  
"Don't. No, no, no don't. Don't let them take her. Take me."  
"Bucky." Iris said again reaching through the bars trying to reach him but he was too far from the bed.  
"No. Get her out now. I won't do it. I won't hurt her I won't. I can't." Iris remembered when Desiree used to talk in her sleep, lots of repeating of the same statement like she couldn't be heard by whoever she was talking to. It was the same now but Bucky sounded more insistent, even getting agitated when whoever he was trying to communicate with wasn't listening.  
"Get her out. I won't hurt her, I won't hurt- I can't. Please get her out of here. Save Iris." Iris bit down on her lip as tears began to form, her throat tightening.  
"Bucky." She said a little louder.  
"Hey, Barnes."  
Bucky's head shot up swiveling around like he was searching for her.  
"Easy." Iris said smiling at him as he finally seemed to find her.  
"Iris?" He was still halfway asleep by the looks of his confusion, but soon he was back in reality.  
"Hey." She said quietly, her voice unable to go above conversation level without making her throat burn.  
"You're up. I didn't know... I thought." He stood up, the blanket slipping to the floor.  
"Bucky... you're arm is-" Iris said reaching out and touching the bare skin of what remained of his original arm cut off below his deltoid muscle. Metal still remained around his shoulder, the red star faded and scratched. Iris could see the clasps that probably attached to the rest of the metal arm.  
"Hydra, they didn't take it did they?" Iris asked worried that she had missed something.  
"No, no it's fine. Stark... he took it and said he could fix it." There was something so human seeing him without the metal arm. Iris was transfixed by the metal and skin contrast.  
"You let him?"  
"It needed maintenance and the blood..." he looked away from her.  
"I didn't want him touching it while I was still attached to it."  
"But are you okay?" Iris asked seeing the circles had returned under his eyes. There was a long pause before Bucky looked back at Iris.  
"You were out for three days," he said after a moment.  
"Three...?" Iris turned to look out the window like somehow it was proof that what he was saying was true.  
"Have you been sleeping? Did you eat? Please tell me you at least ate something. I know sleeping isn't really your thing but three days is a long time. Oh god what about Desiree have you heard anything from her?" Iris could feel herself amping up, her muscles were tensing, her voice although still hoarse was raising, and her throat was tightening. Everything felt frightening and unknown and how could she have missed three days?  
"Iris calm down you're going to hurt yourself," Bucky rested his hand on Iris's wrist trying to avoid the IVs.  
"I just... I just-"  
"I'm fine. They're finding Desiree. They think she fled town shortly after giving us our things." Bucky said.  
"This is all my fucking fault." Iris said pressing her palms to her face, Bucky could see her face slowly turning red, her lips trembling. She didn't move her hands as the tears began to collect in them. The uncontrollable sobs that filled her chest produced physical pain from her wounds which made Iris cry harder. She felt something warm rest on her left shoulder as well as a small pressure on her forehead. She removed her hands to see Bucky had rested his forehead against hers, eyes closed, he couldn't hold her so he did his best to show support. Iris wrapped her arms around his neck and continued to cry into his shirt.  
"No, it's not."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is a little short but there will be another chapter either tomorrow or Tuesday!


	8. Night

Iris's head was laying on her mother's lap as they drove through the trees, the light was filtering through the thin fabric of her mother's white shrug. Iris could feel her mom's fingers as they were pulled through her hair, her father was driving, humming the song he always sung to her mother. They were talking about something but she didn't pay much attention as she blinked lazily. She closed her eyes and listened to the engine as they started up a hill. The old Bronco chugged and backfired violently which startled Iris from her nap. She opened her eyes but the only thing she could see was smoke and ash as it floated down like snow. She sat up, her mother and father gone, only a scorched forest surrounding her. She stood and looked around not sure of where exactly she was. She could hear the same loud bang in the distance, through the curtain like haze. It sounded off again, this time closer and behind Iris. She spun around quickly, trying to catch what was making the noise. Another loud pop shattered the air, this time so close it left Iris's ear's ringing. She could feel something hot pierce through her, making her grasp at her shirt. She couldn't see a hole but blood began to soak the sweatshirt, pouring out the bottom as she tried to stop it with her hands.  
Something gripped her arm sending her spiraling back into her real body, screaming and gasping and grabbing at her stomach.  
"Iris. Iris stop." Bucky said as she tried tearing at her bandages, he had her by the arm trying to stop her from hurting herself further. Iris felt the rush of energy from the startling wake up drain from her.  
"B-Bucky." Her voice was nothing more than a broken squeak as she leaned forward resting her forehead on his chest.  
"I'm here. It's okay, I'm here." Iris wrapped herself around him like he was an anchor in a storming ocean. He rested his arm on her back and gently stroked it, his fingers rolling over her shoulder blades and back down to the bandages that bulged slightly under her nightshirt. He hummed something into her hair as she tried to catch her breath.  
"You're getting better." Iris said weakly after a moment.  
"What?" Bucky asked pulling back as Iris relaxed.  
"You're getting better at... being human." Iris said wiping her face, her voice sounded small, almost like she wasn't sure if she was saying the right thing.  
Bucky's face softened for a minute and Iris thought that maybe she had said something wrong. He looked down at his hand for a minute before looking back up at her.  
"I learned from the best, doll," his voice almost as quiet as Iris's, a small smile pulling at his lips.  
Iris smiled, her eyes tearing up again as she looked back at his left shoulder where the metal and skin melded.  
"I see they haven't fixed the arm." Iris said.  
"I should get it back tomorrow." Bucky said.  
"You don't sound too happy about that."  
"Iris... what do you think is better?" He asked after a second.  
"In regards to what?" She wiped the tears from her skin again.  
"The arm. Should I... replace it?" He asked.  
"Why would you do that?"  
"Because it.... I don't want to be a weapon anymore." He said softly turning to look out the window across from her bed.  
Iris sat forward and reached across bringing him to face her.  
"You don't have to be a weapon if you don't want to be. You have control, remember?"  
For once his eyes didn't look clouded with confusion, they were clear and staring at her like she was the light in a very dark tunnel. Iris smiled at him and he smiled back before he reached up at touched what was left of his arm.  
"Have you talked to Steve at all?" Iris asked reaching up and running her fingers over the metal.  
"No. They've been focused elsewhere. Probably dealing with repercussions of the train station and... me."  
"What exactly happened at the train station?" Iris asked.  
"Hydra found us."  
"I thought they would want to take you not try and kill you," Iris said.  
"That was probably the plan, except when they saw us with Steve they decided to terminate."  
"They do that?" Iris asked moving to allow her legs to dangle over the side of the bed.  
Bucky didn't reply, he just went to the window and folded his arms while he stared out at the city.  
"Did you get hit?" Iris asked.  
"I was grazed, luckily they didn't have snipers."  
Iris moved to the edge of her bed, dangling her legs off the edge and flexing her toes.  
"So, when can I get out of here?" Iris asked, Bucky turning back to her.  
"Tomorrow, hopefully."  
"Has there been any news on Desiree?" Iris had been afraid to ask, afraid of the news she might receive.  
"No word yet. She's good at disappearing."  
"She's cautious and prepared. But if we can't find her then maybe Hydra can't either?" Iris looked down at her fingernails which she had bitten down to ragged edges.  
"I'd like to think that too."  
Iris looked up as Bucky joined her on the edge of the bed, overlooking the city.  
"What now," Iris said quietly.  
"Don't know. Steve has been too busy to tell me anything, I can't tell if we're guests or prisoners right now. They've brought me meals and offered me clean clothing. I've insisted on staying with you so I don't know if there's even a place for us once you're healed. But obviously Steve wants answer, he wants... me."  
"You're nervous." Iris said, more of a statement than a question.  
Bucky shook his head and Iris could see a smile on his lips.  
"Stupid, right?"  
Iris shrugged.  
"You've been gone a long time. I'm not sure what he expects from you but I know he doesn't want to hurt you. He cares for you."  
"He cares for the Bucky he lost in World War two. I'm not sure he could care about this one."  
Iris rested her hand on his shoulder and he turned to look at her. She was smiling at him, the soft way she smiles when she's tired.  
"He'll learn to."

~~~

"Good morning." Captain Rogers said as he entered her hospital room.  
"Good morning." Iris replied sleepily as she pulled on her sweatshirt, or the sweatshirt she had stolen a few days ago, it was washed and folded for her and placed in the drawers of a small dresser that sat on the other side of her side table.  
"This must be a lot for you," he said.  
"Just another day for you I guess?" Iris chuckled.  
"You'd think," he glanced over at Bucky who was watching from the sidelines.  
"I came to take you to your rooms."  
"So we are staying?" Iris asked.  
"We can't exactly toss you out in the streets where Hydra can get to you. You'll have full protection here and... well-"  
"I know about you guys, about Bucky. I know you probably have questions for him," Iris said walking over to Steve, Bucky standing up and falling in next to her.  
"So you figured that out huh?" Steve said giving her a sheepish grin.  
"We've been working through some things regarding your whole... deal," she motioned between the two of them.  
"Well that saves the explanation part," Steve said shoving his hands in his pockets.  
"I'm... not sure what to say." Steve seemed uncomfortable, obviously this wasn't the way he had imagined finding his old friend.  
"Why don't we start by you showing us our rooms? Then maybe you two can talk?"  
"Right. Yeah, okay. Let's go." Steve said nodding at her suggestion and heading out into the hallway.  
"He always this... shy?" Iris asked playfully only to see a slightly stressed Bucky give her a shrug.  
He wasn't remembering, not all of it, he could see things but he couldn't feel them and that worried him. Iris wrapped her arm around his and nodded to him, she wanted him to know that she was there and that they were in this together now. They followed Steve down a long hallway, the walls were frosted glass with what Iris could only assume were more medical rooms behind them.  
They took a left where they came across an elevator. Steve pressed the up button and stood facing the door, only glancing over at Iris and Bucky every now and then. The whole situation was extremely awkward and made Iris want to scream. They just needed to talk to each other, and for being two ninety year olds they sure were having a problem with that.  
The elevator doors finally opened and Iris stepped inside, holding onto Bucky as she tried to steady her steps. The pain medication made her slightly dizzy and she was thankful Bucky tightened his grip on her arm so she didn't tumble over. As the elevator closed a British voice greeted them.  
"What floor Captain Rogers?"  
"Ninety-Two please," Steve said simply.  
"Who was that?" Iris asked.  
"Oh, right. Jarvis, he runs this tower basically." Steve said.  
"Technically Mr. Stark runs the tower."  
Iris swallowed hard. Mr. Stark? The famous guy who helped save the world? Of course she was standing next to the other guy who saved the world, but Steve was… a little more approachable then the multi-billionaire. If this was his tower then-  
"We're in Stark Tower."  
"Yep. We like to call it Avengers Tower, don't tell Tony I said that though," Steve said, attempting to make a joke.  
"Holy shit," she said under her breath.  
Finally they came to a stop at their floor, the doors opening up to a large open multi-leveled space. Large windows that curved up and over them encased separate floors with varying purposes. There were work stations, computers, lounges and a bar. Steve led them into the lounge area where a large couch sat along with several love seats and a coffee table.  
"I convinced Tony to grant you guys access to-" "You didn't convince me to do anything. You basically demanded I let them stay." The man himself was descending the stairs from what looked like some kind of loft space.  
"Tony Stark," he held out his hand to Iris which she took, staring at him with a dumbfound look.  
"Hi. Yeah, I know, sorry that was rude. Thank you," she said trying to get her words lined up right.  
"I'm Iris Hunt."  
"Pleasure. And I've already met you. Arm should be done soon metal head."  
"Tony," Steve gave a warning voice.  
"Calm down Cap, just trying to lighten the mood," Tony said giving them both a paparazzi smile.  
"You're being rude," Steve replied.  
"Whatever, look, can't play along can't stay. I'm sorry but that's the rules."  
"He's usually not this bad," a woman's voice interrupted them, Iris looked up at where Tony had just come from to see a tall, lean woman with strawberry blond hair wearing jeans and a button up shirt. Despite her casual attire she gave off an air of importance.  
"Hi, I'm Pepper," she greeted them informally offering her hand to Iris then to Bucky.  
"Hello, Iris Hunt," Iris said shaking her hand.  
"James." Bucky said stiffly, caught off guard by having to introduce himself, he always just assumed people knew him and were afraid of him.  
"It seems you two will be staying with us for the time. Welcome to Stark Tower," Pepper said as warmly as if this were in a small home in the countryside.  
"Thank you. Both," Iris replied with a smile, she probably looked a mess and she needed a shower. Not the best first impressions on two very powerful people.  
"We should get you two situated," Steve said nodding to Pepper and Tony.  
"Of course, make yourselves at home," Pepper said as the two of them headed back up stairs while Steve took Iris and Bucky down a short spiral staircase into a hall of doors.  
"This is your room, Buck, and for you Iris." Steve motioned to two doors that were side by side.  
"We can just... stay here?" Iris asked.  
"Yeah, Tony said he'll put you up until we deem it safe for you to leave."  
Iris opened up the door to her room. It was like a hotel the president would stay in. There were large wide windows like the ones in her hospital room overlooking the city, a large California King facing a flat screen TV mounted above a sleek modern dresser. A desk was against the wall next to the door and another door was on the other side of the room. Iris walked through the room, running her fingers over the edge of the glossy dresser. She made her way to the door and opened it to a large bathroom complete with whirlpool bathtub, full length mirror and large vanity.  
"Everything seems so..." Iris turned as she continued to observe her new space "expensive."  
"Yeah, reason I stay in my own apartment," Steve said.  
"But I'll be staying here for a while," he quickly added.  
Iris went to Bucky's room with him, it was virtually a mirror image of her own room. He went to the windows and looked down at the city below, glancing at the various buildings around them. None were as tall as the Stark Tower making him feel a little better about how open the view was. He went into the bathroom and paced it before heading back out into his bedroom.  
"How's it feel?" Iris asked.  
"It's not your living room," he said glancing at her with a small smile. Iris blinked a few times, he was making jokes and somehow Iris thought that was something from the old Bucky. She'd ask Steve if he used to joke around when he was nervous later.  
"I'm going to take a nap and settle in," Iris said turning to head over to her room.  
"You okay with that?" She asked looking after him when she made it to the door where Steve stood looking as apprehensive as Bucky.  
He nodded and Iris took in his posture. He was standing squarely, not hunched over and his eyes weren't darting around the room. He was nervous but capable and Iris acknowledge that before she turned to Steve.  
"Be patient with each other," she said and Steve's face seemed to relax a little.  
"Get some rest," he replied, Iris nodding and headed to her own room.  
She closed the door behind her and for the first time in a while she was alone. She almost felt sad, no, she did feel sad. It wasn't just that she was separated from Bucky, they both needed some time apart, it was the fact that Desiree was in the wind and she was in a strange new room where she felt increasingly out of place. She sat down on the bed, staring at the flat screen across from her. She turned it on and found a cop show to play in the background, the voices making the room feel less empty. She curled up on the bed before slowly drifting off to sleep


	9. Melody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit you guys I am so sorry about that horrible hiatus this has been on. Between changing computers and then editing chapters (and falling into some other projects) I never intended this to have such a long period between updates. Sorry again and on with the show!

Iris could feel the weight of men holding her down, their elbows dug deep into her back. She struggled to breathe, to wriggle her way out from under them as she screamed for Desiree. She could see her a few feet away, walking down what looked like some kind of endless hallway, humming peacefully to herself as if nothing was the matter. Iris could see people descending upon her, guns pointed at her back while she absently looked down at her phone. There was a sharp pop as Desiree whipped around to look at Iris before her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she fell to the floor. 

Iris pulled herself forward despite the weight, crawling slowly towards Desiree's body, her arms shaking with desperation and fear. As she neared she felt herself plummet a short distance before hitting the hard smooth ground. Iris scrambled upright whipping her head around and trying to orient herself. She was on the floor in her new room, it had grown dark outside and there was a mess of blankets piled on top of her. Iris laid back for a second, calming her breathing and rubbing her hands over her face. How long had she been asleep? Her body ached, she certainly had been out enough to miss her next dose of pain medication. She stood, her sore body creaking and popping as she straightened herself. A bottle of pills sat on her bedside table with a glass of water and a note.

Came to check on you and you were still asleep. Don’t forget your medication.  
~Bucky

Iris smirked at the note before pocketing it and taking her dose of pain meds. Her stomach growled at her as she went to use the bathroom and splash her face with water. She had a turkey sandwich before leaving the medical ward which she had figured was about five hours ago. She tied her messy hair up in a tight ponytail before heading out into the tower. She didn’t quite know where she was going, only retracing her steps back to the main floor which they had entered on. The space seemed quiet, the lights dimmed. Everyone must have been somewhere else in the tower at the moment, maybe even getting their own dinner. 

“How am I ever going to learn my way around here,” she mumbled.

“May I be of assistance, Ms. Hunt?” 

Iris jumped slightly at the voice before she remembered what Steve had said earlier.

“Jarvis, right?”

“That is correct.” 

“Hmmm. Where’s Steve?”

“Captain Rogers and Mr. Barnes are on the observation deck having dinner with Ms. Romanoff, Mr. Barton, Dr. Cho and Dr. Banner.” 

“Oh… am I… permitted?” 

“You are permitted to fifty-seven rooms within the tower and the observation deck is one of them.”

“Oh, okay. What floor is it?” Iris made her way to the elevator.

“Ninety-four, shall I alert Mr. Rogers of your pending arrival?” 

“Yes please.” Iris boarded the elevator only for it to close and begin its assent automatically, probably Jarvis’s doing.

“Of course. Is there anything else, Ms. Hunt?”

“No, thank you Jarvis.” Iris smiled, hoping that the robot, or whatever Jarvis was, could see it.

“Enjoy your evening, Ms. Hunt,” Jarvis said as the doors slid open.

The “observation deck” was like something out of a tourist attraction, only private. A complete 360 degree view of Manhattan was on display through thick tinted glass complimented by low lighting. Where Iris had expected a long dining room-esque table there was instead a lowered social area with a large round fireplace in the middle with a marble ledge which had drinks and plates set on it. Steve and Bucky stood when Iris entered, climbing out of the pit to greet her. 

“How was your rest?” Steve asked.

“Good, thank you,” she replied smiling at him and nodding before looking at Bucky.

He looked reserved, not on edge or stressed which was good. Steve motioned for her to follow him back to where they had been sitting. Bucky let her walk in front of him and she let her hand brush over his arm as well as sending him a quick smile before following Steve. There were four other people at the fireside, all lounging peacefully and looking up at the three of them expectantly.

“Finally get to put a face to the name,” a sandy blond man said before taking a sip of his beer.

“You’ve been talking about me?” Iris asked quietly, her face flushing red.

“Only good things, promise,” a man was dark curly hair and glasses said standing and moving to offer his hand.

“I’m Dr. Banner. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said, his voice soft and face kind.

“Pleased to meet you,” Iris said taking his hand and shaking it.

“Dr. Cho here is the one who helped fix you up,” Steve interjected motioning to an attractive young woman with dark hair and a pristine pressed white shirt and black pencil skirt. 

“Thank you, very very much,” Iris said graciously as Steve led them to their seats. Iris sat between him and Bucky on the soft cushions that were as comfortable as the bed she had been sleeping.

“You were an excellent patient Ms. Hunt,” she smiled and nodded.

“C’mon, can’t we call her Iris? We can call you Iris right?” The blond man cut in. 

“Y-Yes of course!” Iris chimed, she felt awkward and embarrassed. She was surrounded by super heroes, attractive super heroes at that and she felt extremely underdressed. 

“Clint, play nice,” a redheaded woman cooed as she sipped at a martini across the fire pit from Iris. Iris recognized her from the train station, the woman Bucky apparently knew.

“I’m Natasha Romanoff, this five year old is Clint Barton.” She smiled, a tight lipped half smirk that made Iris’s heart race. She was way out of her league. 

“Nice to meet you. All of you, ah. If I had known that this was such a nice dinner party I’d have… dressed.” 

“N-No, you look… good,” Steve stumbled over his words, the group falling quiet. Steve cleared his throat and grabbed his water.

“Ninety years old and you still can’t talk to women,” Natasha chimed.

“I was just trying to make her feel better,” Steve’s face and ears were red.

Iris gave a dry laugh and cast her eyes downwards before looking up at Bucky who looked a good ten times more awkward than she felt. He was sitting in a way as to not brush shoulders with Dr. Banner, which meant he was leaning towards Iris, his left hand in his lap, eyes focused on the glass of water in his right hand.

“We made a plate for you. If you don’t mind chicken,” Steve motioned to a large gold gilded plate that sat on the ledge that served as a table.

“Oh, yes thank you,” Iris reached for it and noticed Bucky hadn’t touched his food which was sitting next to hers.

“You’re not hungry?”

“I wasn’t, let me have some of yours first,” he reached over and before she could say anything took a large bite of her halved chicken. 

Iris cocked an eyebrow and watched as he chewed, swallowed and sat back as if waiting for something. Everyone had slowly stopped their side conversations and watched as he leaned forward and began to eat his own food. Iris shrugged and began to eat her own food, not seeing Natasha lean over to Clint and whisper something to him.

Iris dug into her own meal, it was roasted herb chicken and mashed potatoes with carrots. It seemed standard but it was presented and tasted like something from a five star restaurant. Iris had tasted good cooking before, but nothing this elegantly satisfying. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was until the plate was nearly empty within the first five minutes. 

“Are you enjoying the Avengers tower?” Banner asked as Iris took a long sip from her glass of water.

“I haven’t seen much, but those sheets on my bed are probably more expensive than my own apartment.” She said smiling.

“I’ve never been so pampered in my life, so yes, I’m enjoying it.” She said with a chuckle.

“I wanted to apologize, for earlier. We were only trying to help and well… it put you—both of you—in danger.” Steve said after a moment more of eating.

Iris calmly chewed and swallowed, nodding as she glanced at Bucky who was doing a poor job at acting like he wasn’t watching her. You’d think for being a super spy assassin he’d be better at playing off his gazes. 

“Well, we’re both still here, alive, thanks to you guys. But I still have something I need to talk to you about.” Iris said, a seriousness crossing her tone.

“Desiree,” Bucky finished for her.

Iris looked up at him, surprised yet relieved that he hadn’t forgotten about her.

“Yes. Desiree is still missing and I at least need to know she’s okay.” Iris said with a confidence in her voice that made the corner of Bucky’s mouth twitch up into a half smirk. 

“We’re working on that right now actually. Bucky helped me and Natasha put together a file on her outside of the things we could find ourselves. It should help us at least track down where she might have gone.” Steve nodded to Iris, a reassuring smile gracing his lips.

“Oh… well that’s… good then,” Iris smiled as she went back to her food, the nightmare from earlier fading slightly. Everything was in working order at the moment, however strange this whole thing was, and now all they had to do was wait.

 

It wasn’t long before everyone eventually took their leave, each Avenger standing and saying their goodbyes to Iris and in some extension Bucky. In no time it was only Steve, Bucky and Iris left, all staring silently into the firepit.

“You guys want s’mores?” Steve asked completely out of the blue.

“What? You guys do that?” Iris snorted.

“We’re super heroes, doesn’t mean we’re not human. Is that a yes?” Steve asked picking up their plates.

“Yes, please. Bucky?” Iris turned to Bucky who nodded.

“Yeah, sure.”

He had relaxed a great deal, especially when there were less people in the room. As Steve loaded his armful of plates into the elevator and descended they were left alone for what felt like the first time in a while. After a few moments of silence Iris turned to Bucky.

“You know, you never did tell me what you remembered,” she said softly.

Bucky perked at her statement, trying to think of what she was referring to.

“We were supposed to talk about it, at dinner. But obviously…” she shrugged, falling back onto the couch with a sigh.

Bucky thought a minute longer, chewing on his bottom lip before standing.

“I can show you,” he said standing up and offering her his hand.

“What?” Iris looked up at him with curiosity, taking his hand.

He pulled her up and placed her hand on his shoulder, taking her other hand in his and resting his free hand on her hip. 

“Let’s see,” he mumbled.

He stepped to the right, then back to the left then rocked back and forward with his feet, Iris following as best she could. Was he really dancing? Iris found it amusing that despite the casualness of the action he was completely and utterly focused on his feet. It wasn’t long before a soft melody picked up overhead, obviously Jarvis’ doing. Once the music came on Bucky seemed to fall into the rhythm, finally making eye contact with Iris who watched him with a beaming smile.

“What?” he asked as they lazily swayed through the empty room.

“I didn’t know you could dance,” she said.

“Just wait till I get started, doll.”

Iris let out a loud, albeit unattractive, laugh, leaning her forehead onto his shoulder as she did.

“You are full of surprises Mr. Barnes,” she said leaning back to look at him, surprised to see such a relaxed expression on his face.

His eyebrows were relaxed, not hard lines set over his blue eyes, and his lips which were usually downturned were curled into a small smirk, barely betraying his inner enjoyment. The music transitioned to something more downtempo and Iris felt herself leaning into him. She rested her cheek on his shoulder, watching in the reflection of the glass as he moved about, leading her gracefully through the steps. For everything that had happened this seemed so natural for them to be this way, both pressed together, breathing deeply in the dim light. She could see past them, down at the city outside. The buildings were all lit up like a forest of Christmas trees all brimming with life. She let her eyes close, forgetting about everything; forgetting her wounds, forgetting the s’mores, forgetting the chaos around the two of them. For the first time in weeks she felt quiet. 

Iris brought her head back up, only just realizing how intently Bucky was staring at her. His eyebrows had pulled together only slightly and she was worried she had done something wrong, perhaps bringing up a bad memory.

“Is everything okay?” She asked, her voice hushed.

“I can’t help but think…” Bucky replied, seeming to be focusing in on something.

“What is it?” 

“That I should do something…. Important,” he replied.

“Like what—?”

It was fast, a quick press of his lips to hers, yet for some reason it made Iris dizzy. His lips were so soft against hers and it was so chaste, like a school boy’s who had never kissed anyone before. He pulled away quickly, jerked his head back like he had just been burned. Iris hadn’t realized her eyes had closed until the warmth of his kiss no longer occupied her lips. She let her lids open slightly, looking up at him through thick lashes. He pulled his lower lip into his mouth, his tongue barely visible as he ran it between his lips. Iris thought that maybe he regretted it, that maybe he had just acted on a whim to see what it was like; yet before she could pull away or hide her face he connected again. This time it was harder yet not lacking the tenderness of the first. Iris had kissed many people before, she knew that something as intense as this could get sloppy but the way he moved his lips against hers it was unlike anything she had done before. Maybe it was because of everything they’d been through, maybe it was because she hadn’t been this intimate with someone in a few months, or maybe it was because deep down in her chest she felt her heart pounding against her rib cage, the rhythm encouraging her to lose herself in the moment. Whatever it was she wanted to drown herself in it.


End file.
